Tonight, an advert on Channel 4 (and apparently on many other channels) triggered a response. It was a number of celebrities talking about something that mattered, and I was certain it was to do with stand up 2 cancer. I was wrong.
My wife has been looking this up all evening on the internet, and the relevant web site has been crashing all evening. Perhaps there are more people out there who actually want to talk about mental illness. I do.
Both my wife and I have a number of casualties in our families to mental illness, or just call it suicide, or whatever, mostly historical; it still hurts to say you only ever had one grandfather, for example.
I have suffered twice from serious depression, both times when coming close to leaving a long term work place. The latter was probably worst, when after eighteen years, they want to get rid of you. The causal effects are always the same, i.e. insignificant little morons whatever their status, using mind games to cause a person to want to give up; with sleepless nights, then just plain blankness and blackness – that was horrible. I was never suicidal, I was in a far worse place than that.
I had two important groups on my side, my wife, and my old friends (they don’t know this).
After being away from my church for at least ten years, I returned for a Sunday service. I was shaking incontrollably as I sat by my wife in our church, the bells were too loud, as was the singing, I was a complete mess.
Our Minister, Ken started to talk, he changed his talk at the last minute, he does not know why he did that, I do. I still to this day do not remember the talk, maybe I do, but I was fixed (sort of).
As you are now aware, I am a Christian, and have been for all of my life. I don’t always practise, but when I need a friend I know where to find one.
It turns out that I have been going to this church for some time, it is St Andrews in Hornchurch. I started to go there in about 1989 when I wanted to get my first daughter into the local C of E school, which you only got into for good attendance at church. After we had achieved this, I actually realised that I actually liked the people and the church; and hence all my friends are here. I did also spend quite a number of years as a governor of this primary and also secondary school during my political years.
Going back to St Andrews, in Hornchurch – in 1995 there was a massive Passion play in the area. It was staged by the Queens Theatre, in Hornchurch, and was an extravanganza to many thousands of people in the local area.
I played the part of one of the nasty priests (somebody has to play the part), and followed by being Matthew, a disciple in 2000. I do not remember being in the 2005 play. My children also played parts, as children, in both of these performances.
My wife, earlier a member of the choir, took on the role of Mary mother of Jesus, in about 2011 and 2015 whilst I stood back as a steward.
And 2020 is coming, and the Passion play, which is probably the biggest event in London, if not in the UK, is about to happen again.
Judge for yourself, come and see it, it is about April next year.
Mentally, I am fixed due to my church family and friends.
I forgot to say. I visited my GP in the first instance when I was unable to control my work life, and was offered counselling. I had actually left the work place already by this time which was a good move, although not everyone has this option.
When I returned to see my GP after the above return to church, I made a point that I had now received counselling, as I had started to go back to church. I now go regularly again – it is important to me. I see my friends, old and new.